The Need

It's 3:20am and I just got home from going out with ma "boyz". This is not a typical Thursday night for me, but hey, what can I say? I'm on vacation. We checked out a rare-groove, old-school, classic house night at a place called Club Menage in downtown Toronto. (Don't ask me to define what those musical genres are, because I'm not one who's up on music. I just know that I like that kind of music.) Even though the place was pretty empty, I had a great time because the music was awesome. ("Tunin' from human, bloomin' a blossom" - That's for you Maestro fans.)

I noticed that the coat check girl just happened to be studying Ancient Chinese Medicine. I asked her about it, and she said she was studying shiatsu massage. So, OF COURSE I asked for a sample! It was very cool. I mean, what more could you ask for: great beats, martinis, and a free 20 minute massage! I don't think I've been more relaxed in a long, long time! So if anyone is looking for a great massage, check out Sarah at the Shiatsu School of Canada. She also does a fine, fine job of checking your coats. Beware of the crazy busboy though. I think he thinks he's in a martial arts film.

After tiring of the club scene, ma "boyz" decided to introduce me to a little tradition called "Fairbanks". "What is Fairbanks?" you may ask? Well, it is this little stripclub in north-west Toronto that is known for its Asian dancers. Unfortunately, being a woman, I am but a second-class citizen there. I was only allowed to sit near the bar, and not allowed a lap-dance! What's up with that! My money is worth just as much as my male companions'! I deserve to be in "pervert's row" along with the rest of the deviants!

Anyhow, watching my friend get a lap-dance, and watching the girls on the floor, it only reminded me that it's been a long, long, long while since I had my needs filled. Yes, I'm a dog. Just cause I'm a woman, doesn't mean I can't be a dog. Yes, I support equal-opportunity offensiveness! Also, it reminded me that just cause you're a stripper doesn't mean that you can't afford to have good taste. Some of those girls need better shoes! Damn, they were bad. It really distracted from the show. I kept noticing just how awful their clothes/shoes/hair/lingerie was. I suppose I'm just pickier than my guy friends.

So here I am at home at 3:30am, a little tipsy, and wondering what lays ahead for me (no pun intended) in 2004. I think one of my year-long goals will be to find a place that will do a lap-dance for women. Just cause I wanna have that experience for once! That, or be in a burlesque show just for fun! Even though Toronto is a big city, I highly doubt that this will happen. But a girl can dream can't she?

Soon... it will be my turn. Soon.