The One With The Two Dates

Okay. So I'm awful at saying "no".

I'm not sure what you can attribute it to: me being the oldest, being the only girl, my people-pleasing nature, my self-esteem issues, the fact that I'm indecisive... all these things may be true but it doesn't stop me from saying "yes". Argh.

So I was supposed to go out with AlternaDate#2 around 9:30pm. I was already feeling crappy, but I really wanted to see her. The late hour did give me pause though. I kept mulling over in my head exactly how I was supposed to meet her without a car, and the time involved to commuting back and forth in the suburbs on a Sunday night. And then there was the issue of her not necessarily being able to make it for that time since she was out to dinner with her family and was running late .

In the middle of my indecision, FoxyLady called and wanted to have dinner. So I said yes. So there I was with FoxyLady on a dinner date from 7 - 9 pm, and feeling antsy about having to meet AlternaDate#2 with a mere 30 minutes to spare. It truly felt like one of those romantic comedies with the protagonist juggling more than one date.

The night became more amusing when AlternaDate#2 called me while I was with FoxyLady. So I basically told AlternaDate#2 that due to scheduling issues, and the fact that both of us were nursing hangovers from the night prior, that we should postpone. All this, while trying to give FoxyLady driving directions to the restaurant. Ack!

After dinner I did manage to go home and call AlternaDate#2 to smooth things over since I probably sounded like a big freak on the phone. She was really cool about it. Thank God. I like her too much to piss her off. She actually apologized to me about the whole timing issue, which was nice. I am so looking forward to when we actually get around to this first date. I think it'll be loads of fun.

The thing that probably caused most of my anxiety was the fact that I was hiding the fact that I had another date from FoxyLady. I know that both FoxyLady and I said we were dating other people, but do I really have to tell her everytime I have a date? I think she assumes that I'm not dating anyone else just because I wasn't earlier on this month. I feel guilt about that. I guess I'm just waiting until she brings it up again. I don't want to hurt her. I'm not used to this feeling.