The Progress Report

It's quite amusing that I was already seeing a counsellor in response to my recent car accident. I had originally planned on seeing him a couple of times, just to do a "head check" post-traumatic incident. I just never anticipated needing his services at this point, so long after the accident.

I think of my counselling sessions as routine maintenance on my psyche. Everyone sees their doctors/dentists on a regular basis. Why not take care of your mental well-being too? Anyway, I'm a big fan of getting help when necessary. Besides, my work benefits are there for a reason.

Anyhow, since my "Accidental Outing", I figured I needed to vent about my frustrations with my family. It was my first counselling session since the fateful evening that my mother caught me "flagrante delecto". According to him, I'm dealing quite well, and just need some time and patience with my folks. I was worried that I'm somehow doing it all wrong. I feel tremendous guilt about the whole thing, and I've nowhere to put it. That's my issue.

He made me aware that they're just experiencing the stages of grief. Ironic because I'm still here; I haven't passed away. I'm not "lost" to them, and yet, they believe I am. That's their issue. You would think that surviving a car accident would have placed some perspective on this whole situation, but I guess they're still coping.

I suppose that since it took me 11 years to deal, I shouldn't expect them to do so in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I continue to live my life, and try and enjoy the day to day moments with my family. Even though talking with them about minutiae kills me with the underlying meaning, I at least am making an attempt to meet them halfway. The old me would have just walked away and never spoken to them again. I wonder if this is progress on my part.