The Darkened Mood

It occurs to me that if I were to disappear... hardly anyone would notice.

I realize that all my relationships seem to be ones of my own creation... meaning that if I didn't put effort into them, they would cease to exist. It seems one-sided to me.

And that is why, as of late, I seem to be more and more alone. My phone never rings. I never get emails intended for me alone. And yes, this is why I am sad.

I know we are supposed to feel accomplishment and pride in ourselves, but what does it matter when your life doesn't touch anyone else's?

Someone wise said once: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." I lived that for many many years. Now, I'm starting to tire of doing it. Time to re-think who I am.

Or maybe I'm hitting another depression?