The Cousin Label

Hahahahaha.

My older cousin asked me if I was taking notes at our family reunion meeting... and when she realized that I was just jotting down contacts in my PDA, she refered to it as my little black book full of all the hearts I've broken.

She then called me "the MAC-tress".

This false reputation of mine is catching up with me.

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It's occured to me that the nickname isn't obvious. She was referring to my "macking" skills... my rep as a "Mac Mommy"... that I be the "playa playa" of my community. All of which, although hilarious... totally untrue.

The Pick Up Artist

Tonight I attended a queer womens' social event. I brought along my favourite wingman, DragonLady, for moral support. We were just hoping to meet new people outside of our already existing group of queer female friends.

Anyway, it was very interesting. We met different women of different backgrounds, and different ages. We had discussions on dating issues, how to figure out if a woman is gay or interested, and ideas of where to go to find girls. We even role-played and did improvisational theatre. Totally my fave kind of activity.

As the night wore on, the group leaders noticed that I had a lot of interesting comments, and begged me to teach the group some social skills. The group of women in attendance had some questionable advice on dating. I figured I needed to say something! Essentially, I started giving them a crash course in how to be a wingman, and how to talk to women. It was weird. They all got so excited at this that the group leaders want me to give a workshop in the near future on the very topic.

They have started calling me the "Lesbian Hitch". Oh.. I don't think Will Smith has anything to worry about.

Oddly enough, they pick me to teach dating tricks.. and I'm sooooo not dating right now. I only know how to talk to people. If they ever decide to give a workshop on how to pick the "RIGHT" woman, and maintain a relationship... I'm so signing up for that one. I need help too!

I'll keep you posted on my future workshop. I have a lot of material to sort though. Either way I think it'll be interesting fodder for my writing/video work.

The Friendship Email

On this hallowed day of love... let's celebrate the relationships in our lives that all have purpose... whether or not it is a romantic one.

This is one of my favourite email forwards:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

The Compulsive Charmer

Everytime I go out to dinner, I have this problem. I like hitting on waitresses.... is that so wrong? Okay, so I admit it happens more than that. I hit on service people of all kinds. Salespeople, bartenders, secretaries, bus drivers, my friend's boss, coworkers... everyone is fair game.

I guess my favourite part about it is this: no one usually knows what I'm doing, especially girls. No one expects that I'm gay. Most people are clueless. And most people aren't ready for my level of bravado. And let's be honest. Service people always milk the friendliness because it's part of their job.

I figure it's safe. I figure it's practice. If anything, it's highly amusing... isn't it?

I just feel bad for my regular dining partners. They always roll their eyes. I can't help it that I'm cute, can I?

The Accidental Sleepover

Okay. So I lied about not sleeping over with girls who aren't my girlfriends.

She makes me want to break my own rules. Then again, I'm slowly discovering that I am starting to redefine myself. This is always a good thing. How can I grow as a person without pushing the envelope a little?

While I was very intoxicated last night, FoxyLady invited me over to her home since her folks last minute went away for the entire weekend. I couldn't resist, and well, I was easily coerced. It was an amazing time. We really bonded and let our respective guards down. I don't regret a single moment, except for one.

I was supposed to meet up with ErgoGirl today and spend quality time, but I became one of THOSE girls. You know the type. The type who bails on her friends the moment a cute guy/girl calls. The kind who disappears everytime she's in a relationship. I had sworn to myself after the last major breakup that I would never do that again. And here I was, doing it. I could list plenty of excuses as to why I bailed, but I won't bother. I just let her down, and I let myself down. Sorry ErgoGirl!

On a positive note, I managed to hang out with FoxyLady and her friends at another PND Picnic today. This time I remembered my camera and took several photos. Here are two of my fave's that FoxyLady took herself.

We had so much fun: ate too much Filipino food, enjoyed watching our culture showcase itself, and I got to know her friends better. I was happy to meet her friends because I never had such an appreciation for the Pinays from back home, let alone the lesbian ones. They were able to enlighten me with stories from their past. My favourite part was when FoxyLady and I felt a little playful, and fake-wrestled in the park, much to the enjoyment of a large group of guys barbequing nearby. I don't think I've ever been cat-called more in my entire life! The two of us just gave each other knowing grins, and hurried back to where our group was hanging out.

As I was getting to know her friends and sharing stories, I noticed how quiet she was being. Even though I was occupied with laughing and swapping tales with her buddies, I did see out of the corner of my eye that she was watching me. While I was still carrying on my conversation, I could feel her arms wrap around me as she leaned in and kissed me on the head. I had no clue what it was for, but at that moment I knew: This is definitely more than just dating. She couldn't take her eyes off me, and couldn't let go either. I felt such complete joy, and was surprised at how easily it came. I have been a cynic much too long.

We had plenty of moments like that the entire day. I look forward to more.

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Photo Credits: FoxyLady

The Best Birthday Gift Ever

Whew! I'm still reeling from last night.

I had dinner and several martinis with some friends at a great little restaurant downtown called Byzantium. The martinis were awesome, and very very potent. I completely forgot about my knee pain and everything else that's been going on! It was also really great to see some people that I've been isolated from for six weeks. I even got a small assortment of cool gifts which was completely unexpected.

One of my favourite gifts was this little gem:

It's basically a button with a pin on the back which enables one to go around and get people to play "Wheel of Pleasure" with you.

Later on, when we got to Foxy's and Coyote's, I decided to give this little puppy "a spin". (Yes, that's a pun.)

The thing works. Very well. All too well. I can't decide which.

I don't think I've been kissed that much in one night ever. I still have a stupid grin on. I even made the mistake of bringing along my camera for the night. Silly friends. I now have a series of photos of everyone's boobs (male and female).

Thanks go out to:

• the hot little bartender who hooked me up with free drinks all night, and was fast and loose with the kisses


• all my friends who "gayed it up" for a night


• the cute thang who in my drunken state I mistook for one of my friends and in return she smiled and got my number

Thanks again. It was awesome and just what this housebound invalid was needing.

Happy Birthday to me!