The Pick Up Artist

Tonight I attended a queer womens' social event. I brought along my favourite wingman, DragonLady, for moral support. We were just hoping to meet new people outside of our already existing group of queer female friends.

Anyway, it was very interesting. We met different women of different backgrounds, and different ages. We had discussions on dating issues, how to figure out if a woman is gay or interested, and ideas of where to go to find girls. We even role-played and did improvisational theatre. Totally my fave kind of activity.

As the night wore on, the group leaders noticed that I had a lot of interesting comments, and begged me to teach the group some social skills. The group of women in attendance had some questionable advice on dating. I figured I needed to say something! Essentially, I started giving them a crash course in how to be a wingman, and how to talk to women. It was weird. They all got so excited at this that the group leaders want me to give a workshop in the near future on the very topic.

They have started calling me the "Lesbian Hitch". Oh.. I don't think Will Smith has anything to worry about.

Oddly enough, they pick me to teach dating tricks.. and I'm sooooo not dating right now. I only know how to talk to people. If they ever decide to give a workshop on how to pick the "RIGHT" woman, and maintain a relationship... I'm so signing up for that one. I need help too!

I'll keep you posted on my future workshop. I have a lot of material to sort though. Either way I think it'll be interesting fodder for my writing/video work.

The Friendship Email

On this hallowed day of love... let's celebrate the relationships in our lives that all have purpose... whether or not it is a romantic one.

This is one of my favourite email forwards:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

The Preservation of Self

In my various adventures in dating and relationships, I always thought I knew what the definition of love was. I mean, in the absence of emotion, it's very easy to logically list out the attributes of real love: respect, honesty, selflessness, trust, forgiveness. But when faced with the flurry of real emotion, all logic goes out the window, and that list gets forgotten.

I thought someone really loved me. But it turns out, that maybe it isn't the case. In the moment of her pain and hurt, she disrespected my feelings, she tried to control me, she couldn't forgive me when I was really sorry. She didn't fulfill the basic essentials of what loving someone requires. I am so disappointed in the revelation, but in a way, I feel released from this cyclical "what if" scenario with her. Now I have my answer. It isn't to be. And friendship, right now, is a joke. It was always about having my attention, and having it when she wanted it.

I'm saddened at the loss of what I thought was unconditional love. I'm saddened at the loss of a friend, who cannot be my friend ever. You win some, you lose some.

Lately, I seem to be distilling my relationships down to a select few. My inner circle is getting small, and yet I still yearn for true intimacy and understanding. I wonder why it bothers me so?